And YOU Get a Talk Show, And YOU Get a Talk Show!

On Wednesday, the Revolutionary leaders brought their various talents to bear on the topic of breasts. Here was Tim Gunn, standing in a space tastefully emblazoned with a Macy's product placement, to address such sartorial horrors as ?Peek-A-Boolia? and ?Side Boob.? "Never show your bra straps," Tim intoned. "Frankly, ladies, it's vulgar." (Yes, but what if vulgarity is the goal?) Dr. Jennifer, talking sensibly (and non-alarmistly) about health, had occasion to say, "People forget about the nipples." (Au contraire, but whatever; Dr. Jennifer suggested applying honey to them for nonrecreational reasons.) Harley found it necessary to state that you cannot, through exercise, increase your bust, a matter I thought had been settled years ago by the acclaimed researcher Margaret Simon. In any case, Harley led three civilians, one each in her 30s, 40s, 50s, through back and arm workouts that would create the illusion of a larger bust, which is just as good, if that?s your thing. One among the experts addressed the rampant problem of ill-fitting support garments with the rhetorical panache of Johnny Cochran: "If it doesn't fit, you need to quit."

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